A Confusion of Bears: Another Geezer Western Mystery by T. C. McKeon

Author:T. C. McKeon [T. C. McKeon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: -
Publisher: BookBaby
Published: 2015-11-26T05:00:00+00:00

Victoria Contacts Jud

Victoria sat at her breakfast table before going to her office. Chicago suffered from some hot weather. She could see sunbathers and swimmers already claiming spaces on the lakeshore beach within view of her windows. Fewer runners and bikers, though, tracked along the paths, languor already descending upon the lake front scene. The heat didn’t bother her very much, since the distance between her apartment, office and the hospital was not great. She existed in an air conditioned bubble and she knew it. Heat did not oppress her. Climate did not much affect her. The bubble of her existence did. She knew she was privileged, yet the control, the satisfaction, the illusory expectations, these had evaporated in the few minutes of the assault in Montana.

The barest thought of Montana, Conundrum Resort, the mountains, brought waves of anxiety and near nausea. She did not go far from the familiar circuit: apartment, office, hospital, and her therapist’s office; no shopping even for groceries. She knew the objective cause of her malaise, and she worked with her therapist to overcome it. But the assault had been an assault on confidence, self-image, self-worth, optimism, whatever else, as much as an assault on her body. The body pain was minimal. The rest seemed almost immovable and chronic. She fought to stave off total despair.

Her colleagues in her practice had no idea. She worked as hard as ever, and seemed as effective as ever, the high-functioning doctor. Her patients had no idea. Since Lureen had gone, perhaps only Lana had any idea, but her discretion was guaranteed. They did not discuss what happened, but Lana seemed to have the delicate sense of Victoria’s moods and seemed to know when to show compassion, when to give her distance and when to prompt her to some action that lagged. Lana had patience along with discretion, and Victoria believed that she could not have survived without it.

Victoria had ignored her relationship with Jud, because she didn’t quite know what to do about it. It festered in the deepest part of her conscious mind as her biggest loss, a deep, dark sump she couldn’t flush or drain. She knew about the message to Jud that informed him she did not want to see him again, and about the young woman who accompanied him during his current time in Montana. She resented the almost seamless switch he made to Melanie, from Victoria’s perspective, but knew Jud had not betrayed her. If anything, Jud could claim betrayal. Victoria knew her “old friend” told Jud that she wanted nothing more to do with him, and she had not answered any messages he had sent to her in the interim. How did he feel? What must he have thought? And now there was Melanie. Victoria had an acute sense of her loss, but could think of nothing to do about it that would not mean more pain.

Her daily Wall Street Journal lay on the table next to her plate and coffee cup.

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